Identity/Humanity

Why do I always use this picture when I talk about my condition/issues?

Identity is a constructed thing, but it can also be constructed by events of chance which are random and based on odds and statistical anomalies. For example, one in a hundred people have Asperger’s Syndrome, like me. However there is an unknown demographic of people who denies that this condition exists. Such a demographic which is in power over the media/message is a hegemony, which is a site of struggle in a post-colonial world where many voices silenced by colonial powers are beginning to be heard. For example, say I decided I was going to deny somebody having a condition I didn’t believe existed by saying that person was claiming to have it to become popular, therefore they should be silenced. This is the same argument conservatives use when they think people of minority status, whether of racial, mental, ethnic, or physical status, are using the very thing they are looked down upon for their own personal gain, or to gain sympathy. This is a similar argument I have heard against the new President, Barack Obama. However, the odd thing about minority status is that it is part of a constructed identity, not just upheld by those in power, but inborn in many cases. You could be born as a Japanese person for example and you would inherit physical traits of skin colour, but also inherit the constructed identity handed down by your parents to you, for example, traditi0nal values about honour and the old “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down” saying.

That saying is also an example of hegemony, but to many Japanese people who are older this is a perfectly normal rule to live by. To criticise it would be to insult their heritage and culture they were raised in. For this reason, any discourse which challenges the establishment in any culture must first reach out to young people, who grow up and replace the older generation who have these traditional beliefs passed down to them. At this point the younger generation can choose to follow their traditional values or embrace new ones, and this decision is always difficult. Would you choose progress and a new identity, or continuity instead of change and a sureness that you know exactly who you are and where you’re from when you wake up at 3am having napped too long during the day, and realising you have to get ready for school or work in a few hours?

From personal experience, identity is a tricky thing that is hard to define, because Anthony Giddens came up with the concept that identity is fluid and always changing. This explains how one can even change from male or female status to transgender status, having exchanged one identity for another, and this decision theoretically makes the decider more comfortable with who they are. But in many cases it does not. Assuming a new identity, whether it is as radical as having a sexchange operation or as simple as growing your hair into an Emo fringe and deciding to dye your hair black, and wear all black, because you have decided to be miserable for the time period of your youth in which the trend will be popular.

However, some elements of identity cannot be changed. There is no cure for Asperger’s Syndrome, so I am stuck where I am in a state of being classed as a minority with a learning disorder. Would I want to be cured of my condition? Of course not. Because in doing so, I may lose my humanity. Some elements of the human condition cannot be lost, such as mortality (unless you are in cahoots with a whimsical and nasty being named Mephistopheles) old age (some effects of old age can be disguised with plastic surgery, but this may cause you to lose some of your humanity) and the human spirit of being in a see-saw between joy and despair determined by completely unique stimuli for each person. (This see saw can be sedated with drugs but this also is a cause of loss of humanity. Medication does not always cause a loss of humanity depending on how it is used, for example my Asperger’s medication does not make me lose my humanity because it only makes me concentrate more and think more clearly. It does not cause me to zone out into a stasis of feeling no emotion at all).

There is a dichotomy between identity and humanity. Sometimes the two meet, however you cannot have one without the other. Just like a rose without thorns is not a natural rose, but an altered one which is unnatural. At the same time you cannot divorce the Catholic Church from Christ, the basis of the Catholic Church’s teachings, nor can you separate the Prophet from Islam. Spiritually, Christ and the Catholic Church, and the Prophet and Islam cannot be separated because without both of them linked together the living institution of these two different religions would not exist as we now understand them. In the same way we cannot separate identity, (whether it is collective identity or individual identity, it is still identity) from humanity (the traits which make us undeniably human and distinct from Vulcans or Elves or Zombies).

Let me give you an example. Me writing this article is transmitting my identity to be compared with the identity of others in the comments page. The blog entry page I can type in is a blank slate, however my identity, or at least the part I was born with, is not a blank slate. I can construct an entirely new identity using a blog and anonymity on the internet, but to construct an identity too different from my inborn tendencies would cause me to lose part of my humanity. The comments page is a blank slate. You as a reader (according to the theories of the Death of the Author by Barthes and Foucault) have the ability to interpret and make a critical judgement about this (depending on your point of view) pretentious drivel or complete genius.

You could strike me down with a comment of scorn calling me a pretentious git or you could praise me for writing a moderately intelligent article, or even a great one. You would be making your own discourse about my blog article, based on the dichotomy of your identity and humanity. Your identity and humanity may disagree or agree with mine. Equally I may disagree or agree with yours.

On a personal level, you may know as a reader of my blog that I am an anime fan with Asperger’s Syndrome. However I have cleverly constructed what you are viewing on my blog (or foolishly) which influences your viewpoint of my personality and likability. I am also Scots-Irish, however I do not know much about this aspect of my heritage because I have been naturalised into Australian society, a multicultural society which has many cultures living (whether successfully or not so much) together as a community. The blogosphere itself is a community of millions, but you must somehow gain access to the mouthpiece of power to be noticed among these millions. You must have something valid to say which interests other readers. Even if it’s just episode summaries of anime shows or just live action ones on American TV, and not an in-depth philosophical blockbuster of a blog entry.

Indeed, there are times when philosophical blockbuster blog entries are not appropriate. It is possible to “over-interpret” something, when really the meaning of the text or whatever thing you’re examining is right in front of y0u, but you desperately look for some other meaning it has because you disagree with the meaning you see in front of you.

The reason why this blog exists is not just for the sake of novelty. I sincerely believe that the anime viewing habits of pe0ple with Asperger’s Syndrome must be examined, if not for statistical or scientific purposes but for downright human curiosity about what people like me think about Japanese animation we have to watch several times over to even connect character names to faces, to explore plot arcs too vast to understand in one viewing in its entirety, because of the way our Aspie brains work. So far I have never encountered another anime blogger with Asperger’s. I sincerely hope I am not alone in this endeavour. Because there is nothing worse, in this life, to have an identity and humanity you cannot share with others. One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever know. In my heart I hope somewhere out there, somebody with the same condition I have is watching Azumanga Daioh and wondering what the hell is going on there. And I hope onwards. Always.